I think the best decision I ever made as a parent was to let my husband parent too. Sounds obvious and ridiculous all at the same time, but I will be honest here, most women I know DON”T let fathers actually father. They let them babysit and participate, but they rarely let them make decisions or do what they want.
The first time I left my husband alone with our first born, both my sisters said “Oh my God! Why would you do that? Aren’t you worried about what he will do or what will happen?” My response, “Oh crap! Did I just leave my child with a pack of wolves? A silverback gorilla? a 10 year old? Wait, whew! Calm down woman, I left him with his dad.” I remember telling them both “Look, he may not do what I would do, but he isn’t going to kill him and for all I know his way is the better way.”
I feel like my kids are lucky to have their father in their lives, and I think it is important that he have a say, that he be able to influence their young minds. I think the best way to parent is to expose your children to your personality and who you are, as well as who their father is and what his personality is. I married this man because I love him and thought he was an amazing person, why wouldn’t I want my children to be like him? Why wouldn’t I want my kids to be silly, fearless, thoughtful, funny, and easy going? Why wouldn’t I want them to know more about life than just what I would choose to teach them? Wouldn’t it be amazing and magical if they some how ended up with qualities from both their mom and dad? What if they got the mix of awesome and amazing that make their parents such a good match?
That being said, I will admit that there are still moments when I have to leave the room, shut off my ears, or say “what the hell?”, because if I didn’t, then I’d be making a huge mistake. I might interfere and stop that moment of great dad son bonding. I may not do everything right as a parent. In fact, I probably make loads of mistakes; but the best thing I’ve done, and swear I will always do, is let my husband be the dad my kids deserve, unedited by me. After all, what do I know about being a dad? or being a little boy? or the moment between father and son when all is magical and right? I don’t and I never will; but damn it if I’m not lucky enough to get to watch it unfold everyday. So moms, let dads be parents. When your kids turn out awesome you can still pretend it was all your idea, I mean, you are the one who let them do it right?
So here is a moment of happiness, of things only dads do. You’re welcome in advance. I love you, my wonderful husband.